Mila's Birth Story
I can’t believe it’s time to write Milas's birth story — a day that felt so far from reality not too long ago. Even though I can see and feel her sleeping on me right now, it’s still hard for me to process that she is actually here. Two pregnancies in less than 2 years, 60 weeks of pregnancy, and a rollercoaster of emotions and physical changes in between...she is finally here.
I was quite anxious and on edge during this pregnancy after my previous one that ended in loss. I could not wait until the day I could hold my little girl so my brain would believe that this is real. So many fears and “what-ifs” ran through my mind in the weeks leading up to her arrival.
Even though I was impatiently waiting to meet my daughter, a part of me was going to miss this phase of pregnancy. It’s all I knew for a while and over time I began to find comfort in this slow-moving, liminal space.
But ready or not, Mila was going to arrive in her own way, on her own time.
Now, before I go into our story I want to preface it by saying that birth is a very tender experience and it can bring up a lot. My intention in sharing my story is to show one way, one story of birth. It is not in any way the “right” or “only” way of giving birth.
I also believe my birth went the way it did because I had the ability to pick and choose my birth team to help me achieve the birth I desired which I realize is a privilege. Having a team that honored the innate nature of birthing was key in this journey.
With that being said, here are the preferences I had for my birth:
I wanted:
Birth to be treated as a sacred initiation where the baby and I were met with warmth and love.
To feel connected to Baby during birth as it was a journey and story we both wrote together.
A physiological birth. Meaning I’d like to avoid pain medications and unnecessary interventions.
All sensations, emotions, words, etc to be welcomed at birth (ie I did not need a pain-free, calm if that simply wasn’t the truth of the experience)
Mila’s Birth
I was just shy of 39 weeks pregnant when I woke up early one morning to an odd sensation - a strong tightening around my belly, very different from the period-like cramps I had experienced earlier on. After a few moments it hit me…these were real contractions!
I went to my midwives’ office later that day and told them what I had experienced. We were all excited but also cautious since early labor could potentially last a few hours, days, or even weeks for some! I thought “there is no way I’m going to survive laboring for days” so I went home and pulled out my bag of tricks: evening primrose oil, diffusing clary sage, walking, etc.
By late evening the contractions returned and by night, I was running to the bathroom every couple of hours to clear out my system. Each time I looked down, I saw more of my mucus plug release. This lasted all night and though it was uncomfortable, I was relieved to know labor was progressing.
By morning time, I was feeling very tired from the lack of sleep and labor but my contractions still were 12-15 minutes apart. I was still in early labor, damn. Praveer, my husband, suggested that we go on a walk to help labor progress and get a mental break. It was really strange being in labor in public but I savored this stroll as I had a feeling this would likely be the last outing as a family of two.
After our walk, Praveer went back to work (luckily from home), and I was trying to find ways to distract myself from the contractions. I was trying to ride them out, on the edge of surrendering but still bracing because I had no idea how long this would last. Also, a part of me still didn’t feel ready to say goodbye to pregnancy!
By the evening I was exhausted - both mentally and physically (it had been 2 nights without a full night of sleep) and decided it was time to call my doula, Tsadae. As soon as she arrived, my energy shifted — I finally felt like I didn’t have to hold it all together. She gave me a massage while I lay in bed for a bit. I mustered the energy to eat. Then, Praveer joined us, and I felt ready to go.
We cleared out the living room, dimmed the lights, turned on some music, and I began to move. I went from bouncing on my birthing ball to deep squats to rocking back and forth. When my doula noticed I was a bit disoriented from the pain she told me “Let it be intense. Invite in the discomfort.”
So I did, and within the next hour, I was actually excited to feel the contractions get stronger and closer. Things were finally moving! At this stage, I needed a lot of support (back labor is no fun y’all) and began to use my voice to get through the waves.
By 10:00 PM, my labor had progressed but my contractions were still on the shorter side. Thinking I may have another 10-12 hours left, I went to bed to try and get some rest. With pure naivety, Praveer and I tried to send Tsadae home, but she was wise enough to know to stick around.
Within minutes, my water broke! At this point, there was no holding back. It was finally clear to me that this baby is coming today!
I got into the shower for some relief, though I had to hold on to the door handle so I could stay standing. Even with the intensity, I was surprised I was able to stay super present throughout the entire labor and hold short conversations.
Finally, I asked my doula if we could call my midwife to check if it was time to go to the hospital. So we called Aimee, my midwife, and she came home to check to see how dilated I was. Aimee came and watched me and my body language and assumed I may still have some time to go but then she checked me and I was 9 cm dilated! Oh man, it's time to start making some moves!
It was about 1:30 AM when we left for the hospital. Once we arrived, the energy was serene and still. I labored for another hour before it was time to push. In the final moments, I had my whole team supporting me and Baby in the last stretch.
And on August 26th, 2022 at 4:22 am, Mila Melwani came into this world.
I felt the weight of her tiny body on my chest and it hit me…whoa, I was actually growing a human inside of me!
Our lives would never be the same again.
From this moment, I realized it wasn’t the end, but rather the beginning of a whole new story.
I have still so much more to say about the moments after birth and early postpartum, but I still need time to process that. The birth was such a special, monumental event, and it also just feels like the prologue to Motherhood.
Overall I am so thankful that my birth was a positive experience and I’m proud of my own strength through it. Pregnancy and birth weren’t easy and I feel so humbled by this entire journey.
Once again, I could not be more grateful for the team of support I had on my side:
Collective Birth Midwives: Aimee, Flo, and Jasmine - You all provided the best care and support for this journey. I could not have chosen a better team of midwives!
Tsadae Neway: Your embodied wisdom and presence helped me tap into my own strength and intuition. Thank you for being a guide over the past year.
Praveer - You were so calm and present throughout the entire birth. It was so beautiful to see how excited you were to meet Mila.